From Hiding Under the Bed to Asking for Her Harness: How Positive Association Training Transformed Flounder's Relationship with Gear

As any pet parent knows, not every dog or cat is thrilled at the sight of a harness, collar, or life vest. In fact, many pets flat-out panic, which can negatively impact their mental health. This can make pet ownership difficult. That was certainly the case with Flounder, my adventurous and expressive cat who communicates with me using augmentative interspecies communication (AIC) buttons. Despite being brave enough to paddleboard and swim, Flounder used to treat her harness and life vest like scary monsters. If I so much as picked them up, she'd dart under the bed and refuse to come out. There were no new commands I could come up with to get her over this super weird fear.

But everything changed when we began using positive association training.

Now? Flounder will sit patiently in front of me and wait to be dressed—and she even uses her buttons to ask for her harness and vest before an outing. This transformation didn’t happen overnight, but with patience, consistency, and trust, it did happen. Here’s how we did it—and how you can help your own cat or dog feel safe and confident wearing their gear.

Understanding the Fear

For Flounder, the fear wasn’t just about the gear itself—it was everything the gear represented. Cats especially are sensitive to tactile sensations and body restrictions, so she had good reason to avoid them. A harness or vest might feel unnatural, tight, or even threatening. Dogs too can develop aversions to collars, vests, or harnesses if they associate them with negative experiences (such as being forced into them, going to the vet, or losing freedom).

In Flounder's case, I had made the common mistake early on of thinking, “She’ll get used to it.” But animals don’t just get used to things that stress them out—they need guidance and emotional support to develop positive associations.

What Is Positive Association Conditioning?

Positive association training—also known as desensitization and counterconditioning—is the process of pairing something your pet finds scary or unpleasant with something they love. The goal is to change their emotional response from fear to anticipation, which ultimately has mental health benefits in the long run as well.

Instead of seeing the harness or life vest as a source of stress, your pet begins to see it as a predictor of treats, praise, playtime, or adventure.

Step-by-Step: How We Helped Flounder Fall in Love With Her Harness and Life Vest

1. Rewriting the Narrative

We started from scratch. The harness and vest weren’t just lying around or pulled out at random anymore—they were carefully introduced as awesome things. I began by simply placing the gear on the floor near Flounder and immediately giving her high-value treats whenever she looked at or approached it. No pressure to touch or wear it—just positive reinforcement for being in its presence.

We did this daily until she could walk up to the gear without hesitation.

2. Pairing the Gear with Rewards

Once Flounder was calm around the harness, I began incorporating it into play sessions. I’d drape it near her toys, rub it gently against her side during snuggle time, and continue to treat her generously.

Eventually, we progressed to touching her with the harness for short moments, then treating. The key was always to keep sessions short and positive—stopping before she got nervous.

3. Introducing the Act of Wearing

This step took the most patience. I began by placing the harness on her back for just one second—click, treat, remove. We repeated that over several days, building up her tolerance and always watching her body language for signs of stress. Over time, she allowed the straps to be fastened.

The same method worked with her life vest, which was even bulkier and more foreign. We worked at her pace, never forcing, and never rushing.

4. Making the Gear a Ticket to Fun

Eventually, we began using the harness and vest as signals that something fun was about to happen. Putting on the harness meant going outside, paddling, exploring, or getting extra affection. It became a predictor of adventure, not restraint.

That emotional shift changed everything.

The Breakthrough: Flounder Used Her Buttons to Ask

One day, during our regular routine, Flounder did something incredible—she walked over to her augmentative communication buttons and said:

"Outside. HUG. Now."

It was one of those moments where you just stop and stare. This wasn't a new behavior and these weren't new skills that she was exhibiting - rather, a new way of thinking!

This cat—who once bolted at the sight of her gear—was asking to wear it. She had gone from fearful to enthusiastic, from resistant to empowered.

And it all came down to consistency, compassion, and the power of positive association.

Tips for Your Own Pet

If you're looking to help your furry friend get comfortable with a harness, collar, or life vest, here are some practical tips that worked wonders for us. Keep in mind, this kind of positive reinforcement training can be effective for the first time for an adult dog or cat as well as younger pets using this training method:

✅ Go Slow

Start small—just having the gear present without pressure is a step forward.

✅ Use High-Value Rewards

Think beyond kibble. Use treats your pet goes crazy for, or incorporate playtime, snuggles, or even brushing if that’s their favorite.

✅ Watch Their Body Language

Lip licking, tail flicking, or walking away are signs your pet is overwhelmed. Back off and try again later at an easier level.

✅ Make It Predict Adventure

Don’t just put the gear on and do nothing. Show your pet that harness = fun. Go outside. Play. Explore. Make it their “ticket” to something good.

✅ Never Force

Resist the urge to “just get it on quickly.” Even one bad experience can set back your progress. Consent is powerful—and trust is earned.

Final Thoughts: Changing the Narrative for All Cats and Dogs using Positive Association with Pets

Flounder's journey isn’t just about wearing gear—it’s about respecting animal boundaries and helping them feel safe in our human world. Her transformation proves that even deeply ingrained fears can be rewritten with patience and love.

Today, Flounder is an explorer, a swimmer, a paddleboarder, and a dancer—but she’s also a teacher. She’s taught me (and thousands of her followers) that animals are communicating all the time—we just need to listen, slow down, and respond with empathy.

So whether your dog hides from their life vest or your cat stiffens at the sight of a harness, don’t give up. Try positive association. You might just witness a transformation as magical as Flounder’s.

Have questions about how to train your cat or dog using positive methods? Drop them in the comments or follow along with Flounder’s adventures for more enrichment and communication tips!